Hey, It's Ok...

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You know when you have those conversations with your friends or loved ones about the things that are on your mind and bothering you and they say hey, it's ok? And that sense of relief washes over you when you know you're not alone, well this is just like those conversations but in blog post form...

HEY, IT'S OK...THAT YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL

Something that I constantly beat myself up for is not managing to get everything done. I'm either having a life where I see my loved ones and do things I enjoy which means I can't give work absolutely everything or I'm giving my all to work so I don't have a life. And it's impossible to do it all, as much as we try and we can read all the blog posts in the world about finding a balance that doesn't mean that they actually do anything. There are only so many hours in the day and sometimes our life pulls us in different ways and that's ok.

HEY, IT'S OK...THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT ALL 

We're constantly told we should want X, Y, Z from such a young age and it's become so normal that we're all expected to want the same things and that's just not ok. We all want and strive for different things and there is no right or wrong way to do life but there are so many people who will constantly tell you unless you're doing things their way you're wrong and they are far superior which is utter rubbish. There are things that my loved ones do that I would never want or strive for but they do and I totally respect that and it's something that works both ways. So many of us are doing things we couldn't care less about on a daily basis just to prove a point to somebody else and it's no way to go through life.

HEY, IT'S OK...IF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ISN'T THE BEST RIGHT NOW

Ever since I realised that my mental health was actually something I was struggling with, was really pretty serious and stopped desperately trying to push it under the rug I've experienced the highest highs and the most crushing lows. Mental health is something that is so complex and it's never linear, even when you're going through a somewhat good patch each day is different. And even more importantly it's ok in general if you struggle with your mental health, it's not something that should be embarrassing or shameful. There are so many people out there who also struggle and you're never as alone as your brain might tell you. And no matter what other people might say mental health is an illness and a serious one.

HEY, IT'S OK...TO NOT HAVE MANY FRIENDS

One of the biggest lessons that I've learned throughout my twenties is that friendships become very complex once you're past school and university. And when you're an adult and you start to naturally have more and more responsibility it's not always easy to make loads of time for your friendships and it's even harder to make new friends once you get to a certain stage in life. I used to be so, so ashamed that I don't have a huge group of friends but now I'm really ok with it. The friendships that I do have I cherish so much and friendships are something that definitely needs the quality over quantity mantra.

HEY, IT'S OK...TO FEEL LONELY

Much like I've realised how normal it is not to have a huge bunch of friends something else that I've learned is that feeling lonely is something that gets to us all at some point. And it's completely normal, I work from home for myself and I live with a boyfriend who is a touring musician which means that loneliness is a large part of my life. And it's something I've something had to learn to embrace and make work for me. It doesn't mean that it's easy and some days it feels much harder than others but if there is one thing I do know for sure when it comes to loneliness is that the moment you start to feel embarrassed or ashamed that is when the feeling gets so much worse.

HEY, IT'S OK...TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF  

The whole self-care movement became incredibly popular a few years ago online and since then it's got a little bit of a bad rap. And I get it when you're busy and you have things to do then it's pretty infuriating to be told hey you need to take a bubble bath and just relax. But for me, self-care isn't like that it's not about taking long luxurious soaks in the bath or going out and treating myself to a day of shopping. It's about doing those little things like having my morning coffee that make me feel like I'm doing the best for my body and mind so then I can function properly and give everything my best. Not just work but my loved ones too. Running yourself into the ground and being constantly exhausted is something that is almost applauded and I will never understand why we think it's so good for people to be so tired they can't think straight and get sick because they're not taking care of themselves. 

MORE THINGS THAT ARE TOTALLY OK

  • To take your bra off as soon as you get home, no more boob jail.
  • To sometimes just want to be on your own.
  • To enjoy your own company. 
  • To sing to your dog constantly. 
  • To be an introvert.
  • To go to bed at 9pm. 
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Rebecca WarrinerPersonal