Confidence isn't something that comes easy to a lot of us. And because it's difficult to feel at the best of times when you don't feel like you're doing well or failing it can be even harder to come across. But having confidence or at least some little boost of it is something I've found to be pretty important because it's not just about coming across as self-assured to other people but it helps you to have more faith in yourself too. Two topics that don't usually go hand in hand are confidence and failure but I've found they're more linked than we might first think.
EVERYONE FAILS BUT PEOPLE DON'T SHARE IT
The online world is notoriously bad for luring us to believe that everyone succeeds and if you work hard then you will obviously do well because that's how the world works. And it isn't that simple but no-one ever wants to share that because people don't like to talk about the things that haven't gone well for them because it's engrained in all of us not share those things and only share when life is treating us well. I'm pretty sure every successful person has had a setback at some point in one way or another and whilst we might think we know a lot about people we really don't. We can never judge someone else's story just based on what seems to be working out for them.
SOMETIMES FAILURE CAN DO US A FAVOUR
Whilst failing doesn't feel nice in the slightest and it can easily feel like the end of the world. Sometimes it can do us a favour because not only does it teach us how to deal things not going to plan but something I've found is that it can lead you to a different path that you might not have gone down otherwise. The majority of us live by a plan that we like to tick of in our time and when something comes along and ruins that it's devastating because that was our plan and what do we now?! Life isn't as simple as it's made out to be and there are constant road blocks and even though it's the most irritating thing to hear those are things that really shape us and we can learn the most from rather than everything being peachy.
THE MORE SCARED YOU FEEL THE MORE CONFIDENT YOU BECOME
I'm not good at feeling scared and I try and avoid it all costs but I know how important it is and recently I've learnt nothing motivates and pushes me more than being scared. I run off the adrenaline and I think a lot of us can relate to that feeling and even though feeling safe and comfortable is pleasant for so many things it can also be a little damaging for others. So often we talk about how to overcome fear but I've found using the emotion to your advantage can work incredibly well and it almost gives you a false sense of confidence. And the real self assurance will be when you've done what scares you.
FAILING AT SOMETHING DOESN'T MAKE YOU A FAILURE
I think it's pretty safe to say that many of us don't measure ourselves with our personality and do it by what we do for a job, how much money we earn or our accomplishments. Adopting emotions and making it who you are is all too easy to do and when there's something crappy going on it can completely take over and it's all you live and breathe. For so long whenever something wouldn't work out for me or I failed at something I would take that on as I was a failure as a person. And this is something that transcends into so many things in life but it's so important to remember just because things might not be going to plan that doesn't dictate who you are and what your self worth is.
HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF
I'm not sure anyone out there really gives themselves enough credit even when they seem to do be doing well. It's so easy to doubt yourself and not believe that you're capable of doing anything well because in so many ways it's easier to be self-depreciating than showing yourself some appreciation and being kind. We're all probably way more capable of doing things than we think and just having that tiny bit of faith can make all the difference.
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
There are a lot of ways to build confidence, I've written a couple of posts on the topic over the years but I truly believe the best thing that we can do for ourselves is to fake it. Even when you're trembling with fright and so nervous you feel like you want to vomit everywhere there is probably a part of us somewhere deep within where we can reach from to fake it. And to the outside world, you look like you're full of confidence even though in reality you don't feel that way at all. And the more you fake it and the more you get to grips with coming across a certain way the more natural it becomes and before you know it you will be more confident.
Do you have any tips for building confidence when you feel like a failure?