6 Things You Never Have To Prove To Anybody Else
I don't know if it's maybe because I'm a little bit older now but I've really lost any urge to prove myself to complete strangers. Which is the complete opposite of how I used to be when I was younger, I was borderline obsessed with proving myself to anyone and everyone and now I just don't have that urge. And I think at some point in our lives we all feel some of that pressure to prove something to the outside world but here are the things that you really don't have to prove to anyone else...
Having a good relationship with yourself, in general, is something that is pretty complex and is constantly changing and evolving. And it took me a really long time to learn that being at peace with who you are and liking yourself as a person is the most important relationship that you'll ever have. We all fall into the trap of trying to prove ourselves worthy of other people but so often the really good eggs out there don't need you to prove yourself to them. More often than not it's just the pressure and the standards that we convince ourselves of when most people would never expect that from us.
The media has fed us these set standards of what a friendship should like and it's probably one of the things that I find the most difficult when it comes to sharing things to the outside world. Especially as you grow up and have a lot of more responsibility it can be so hard to find the time to nurture your friendships. When we're in school apart from our studies your life really does revolve around your friends but that's not how it is in adult life. Not only is it hard to find the time to spend together but also friendships are so much different and it seems like if you don't plaster your life all over the internet then it didn't really happen which is silly. For me when I'm with my friends who I don't get a tonne of time with I want to enjoy my time with them without having the pressure to prove to everyone else that I'm having a great time with others.
At university, I had a relationship that everybody knew about and when that turned sour it was so hard because everybody knew and from that point, it really taught me that it's healthy to keep your relationship somewhat private. And that is exactly what I've done with my boyfriend, we've been together over 4 years and I've kept our relationship to ourselves for the most part. I do share little bits now as I feel comfortable to do so. I'm not sure if it's because I don't have a 'typical' relationship with my boyfriend being out the country so much that I'm wary to share. Relationships are incredibly personal and we all have different ideas of how they should and shouldn't work and I think it's all too easy to criticise what other people are doing in theirs. So often I've heard that my boyfriend doesn't care about me because his job takes him away from home or it's not a real relationship because we don't spend every second together and it's just infuriating. If you're happy in your relationship and it works for you that is all that matters. None of us have this magical list that needs to be ticked off to be worthy of other peoples approval.
Money is something that is spoken about more and more online and whilst I do think it's really good to break down some of those awkward topics especially for female business owners. I also think money is a very hard topic for so many as that horrible doubt comes in where we worry that we're not earning enough or if our income doesn't like someone else's then we're doing it wrong and that's not the case at all. Everyone has different needs when it comes to income, some people just want to be able to pay their bills and some people do want millions in the bank. And if people are struggling with how much they earn it can really play on their confidence and make them feel like they're not good enough. No-one should feel like a number in the bank is what makes them worthy of society or not.
Some people are driven by their career and it's the number one importance in their life and some people just want a job that enables them to pay their bills. Neither one is right or wrong and it's a personal choice how we choose to earn our living. There is an awful lot of snobbery about what people do to pay the bills which is baffling as surely the most important thing is that you're able to provide for yourself? Just because someone owns their own business and someone else is a barista it doesn't mean that the business owner is the better out of the two. It's just a different path that they've gone down. It's all too easy, especially in the online space to believe that everyone wants to own their own empire when so many people don't.
YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Mental health is being talked about more and more now which is incredible and an important conversation that needs to happen. But I've also noticed more and more people feel like they're not allowed to talk about their struggles because it might not look like someone else's. Just like every other aspect of life mental health isn't a one size fits all kind of deal and every person has a different struggle. Whilst others sharing their story is so important it can make others doubt themselves even more than they probably already are because their story might not look that and somehow believe that makes it less important. No-one needs to feel the pressure to prove that they're struggling with something, especially when it comes to mental health which is doubted so often anyway because it's not something people can physically see.
What are your thoughts on proving yourself to others?