Handling Homesickness In Your 20's

You know when you were younger and there was always that kid who had to get their parents to pick them up in the middle of the night at sleepovers, that was me. But throughout my teens and university homesickness wasn't something that I ever really struggled with but when I go into my twenties, it really was and still is, to be honest. And it's never something that I never hear anyone else talking about. Maybe it's because it's not something that a lot of people struggle with when they get older but it's definitely something I have and ever since I moved out properly it's something that I've struggled with more and more.

WHAT IS IT? 

homesickness

noun

  1. a feeling of longing for one's home during a period of absence from it.

IT'S NOT WEIRD 

If there is one thing that's so important to remember about being homesick it's that it isn't weird, it's pretty normal. For the majority of us, we've grown up in our family home for probably over 20 years and as much as we all want to start a new chapter in our lives with a partner or move elsewhere to start a career that doesn't mean you can't miss home. And as much as our parents want us to begin our lives and truly begin our own foray into life that doesn't mean they don't miss us either. You've spent your entire life around each other so obviously, when you're not doing that anymore it can be tough. 

EVERYONE HAS A DIFFERENT FAMILY DYNAMIC 

Just like every other single aspect of life, everyone has a different way of doing things. I've always had a very close relationship with my family because since I was 6 it was always just the 4 of us [3 of us now my mum has passed], I don't have any extended family. And as I've grown up and turned into an adult they're so much more than my just my family they're my friends too. And that isn't to say that we haven't had our problems because we have just like any family but their unwavering support has been something that I couldn't have got through life without. But it isn't the same for every family and I know some people have a really rough complex dynamic with theirs. Obviously, if your parents are like your best friends you are of course going to miss them and it's not strange to enjoy hanging out with your family either. For some people, it might feel like a chore but it's something I make a conscious effort to do as I get so much joy from it. 

From-Roses---Homesick-2.png

NO-ONE IS EVER THAT FAR AWAY

We now live in an age where we can talk to our loved ones in a matter of seconds. I only live a 20-minute drive away from my family home but I don't always have the time to make it over there so I always text them just to check in. Especially since my boyfriend and I got Josie it really mattered to me that my family were a part of the experience too. Of course, once you get to a certain age you don't really need to ask permission to do what you want. But even now I still like to talk to my family about what I'm doing and I've found it to really help break down that distance barrier and make them feel included even though I'm no longer home. 

CHANGE ISN'T ALWAYS EASY 

When I graduated university I was absolutely desperate to move out and away from home but because of some pretty tough circumstances, I didn't do that and then I chose to stay at home for a couple of years more to make the most of being with my family. To some people that might be strange and it's not the norm in society especially in the UK where you're expected to move out as soon as possible [definitely much different to other cultures]. And when I finally made the proper move over to live with my boyfriend I found it hard which wasn't something that I was expecting. I absolutely adore my boyfriend and was so excited for the next chapter in our relationship but it was definitely rough being away from my family knowing it was for good. Of course, I still see them on a weekly basis but it's not the same as being with them every day.

IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT AN ADULT 

When I think of dealing with homesickness I always think of it being something that only children can feel but that's not the case at all. And even though it's not something that's spoken about all that much that doesn't mean there aren't other people who feel the same way. You can still be a fully fledged adult and get homesick, some of us are just total homebodies and for some people, they don't really mind about being away from home. So many people move across the world for work or for relationships and I can't imagine how hard that must be to be that far away from home. Whilst it's always exciting to be moving on with your life and starting a completely new adventure it's normal to miss the things that you've been surrounded by for so much of your life. 

THINGS THAT HAVE HELPED ME FEEL A LITTLE LESS HOMESICK 

  • Always keeping in touch.
  • Making plans with my loved ones. 
  • Putting up my favourite things from my dad's in my new living space. 
  • Making new memories of old traditions. 
  • As well as making new traditions. 
  • Embracing change as hard as it can be it's also exciting. 

Is homesickness ever something you've struggled with in your twenties?

Rebecca WarrinerPersonal