Why I Loved Having A Long Distance Relationship
The topic of a long distance relationship is usually always met with the same response, an eye roll, and a scoff. And I was probably once one of those skeptics but it wasn't until my boyfriend started solidly working as a touring musician four years ago did I realise that they could be a blessing. There are so many different dynamics to have in a relationship and it's all about what works for that couple and not what is a standard in society. So to shed some light on why a LDR can be such a good thing and why I loved mine so much here is today's post.
you're allowed to find it hard
Before I harp on about all the positive things that can come from having a long distance relationship I did want to briefly talk about how hard they can be. I was incredibly fortunate in the fact that my boyfriend is not in the forces so I got to talk to him almost daily, well if phone signal allowed us to. But often talking can make it even harder as you hear about everything you're missing out on with each other and it's generally pretty rough. Spending so much time away from someone you care about is incredibly difficult, there is no denying that or skirting around the issue. Especially when everyone around you is always with their significant other. That can be one of the hardest things I found as it adds to that already crushingly lonely feeling. Finding it hard it completely normal, any type of romantic relationship has difficult moments and a LDR just has different battles to conquer.
SPACE TO GROW
Something that I learned in my early twenties is that when you're in a serious relationship then often it can stunt how you grow as an individual. And this isn't to say that you can't grow on your own when you're a relationship, not at all. But I am a big believer that you need to have a good grasp on who you are as a person before you get into something serious, whether that be long distance or not. When my boyfriend and I got together, neither of us were looking to be in a relationship and it just sort of happened and we were both very much figuring out who we were as adults. We met when were 9 years old and obviously, haven't always been a couple but we still needed more time before we truly settled down and his job allowed us to have that. I finally got a good grasp of who I was and what I wanted without the extra added of pressure of somebody right beside me doing the same thing.
feeling happy in your own company
As well having the space to grow as an individual something else that I was able to learn was how to feel truly happy in my own company. For a long time, I've known that I'm pretty content when left to my own devices and I think that is something we all need to learn at some point in our lives. I love my boyfriend and absolutely adore being in his company but I think it's pretty dangerous to rely on someone else's companionship to make you feel happy and complete. As when they aren't around and you are on your own then it's an awful feeling. Even when my boyfriend has been gone for many months, not once have I ever felt upset because I was on my own. I made the most of it and worked on myself which is something I'm so incredibly grateful for as it made being apart much easier. Time apart doesn't have to be such a bad thing, there are positives to come from it.
a positive test
When you know that you're going to spending a large chunk of time apart then it does test your relationship. There are bumps in the road and you'll have fights just like everyone else but there is something about being long distance which enables you to see whether or not the relationship is solid from an early point. Over the years, there were so many things that my boyfriend and I had to overcome and they are things that we would have never have the chance to deal with unless we'd been in that position. Having thousands of miles between you can be a huge strain on both of you and it's easy for the frustrations to turn into fights but like most things, it works itself out and you always feel stronger coming out the other side.
getting to appreciate the little things
Things like a text, a phone call and getting to spend quality time with each other is something that we've come to expect in our romantic relationships but once you put distance between the two of you then those things become a luxury. I still remember the first time my boyfriend and I had a fight about something really menial and quite frankly silly and afterwards we were both grateful to have a fight about something that felt normal to do in a relationship. Things like getting to spend time together, do the food shopping or even cleaning the house were things that we didn't get to do for so many years and even though we've had months of doing that now it still feels nice because we're together. We're not thousands of miles apart counting down the days that we're reunited and whether your long distance or not appreciating the small things is so important.