Why It's Ok If You Don't Know What You're Going To Do Next


A question that has plagued my entire existence is 'what are you going to do with your life?' it's something that we seem to ask everyone from around the age of 5. And I think this is where the pressure begins to have everything figured out and now I'm into my late 20's something that I'm constantly asked is 'so, what's next?'. It's something I try to avoid answering at all costs and if I'm honest it's because I have no idea what's next. There is so much pressure to be constantly evolving and changing that we never seem to be allowed to enjoy where we're at now and here are few thoughts on the whole what's next thing. 



All through university and ever since I was a teenager really I always had a five-year plan. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted and life would work out exactly how I'd planned. And after university, I still tried to go by that five-year plan even though things had changed and it wasn't exactly what I wanted anymore. It wasn't until my life truly turned itself on its head that I realised a 5-year plan is completely unrealistic. Of course, there are some people who work really well having a lot of structure and plan and if it works for you then it works. But it doesn't work for me at all and the more I find myself trying to make really rigid and structured plans the unhappier I am. And this isn't to say that I'm wandering through life aimlessly with no clue because that certainly isn't the case but instead of telling myself that I have to be at a certain point at this age. I let myself to work towards my goals and allow plenty of wiggle room because life throws a lot of things your way that we can never plan for. I can barely plan for a month ahead of me because I have no idea what is going to happen so it seems a little pointless to be planning things years and years ahead.


Living in the moment isn't something I'm very good at but I absolutely hate wishing away the time. As a chronic worrier and overthinker, my mind is always either ahead of me or years behind me replaying that same moment over and over again. And I am still very much like that in so many ways but during the last year, I've really started to enjoy where I am right now. I love my life right now, I have a job I adore, the sweetest little dog to keep me going, a boyfriend who is incredible, a family who support me in everything I do, friends who are there regardless of how long it's been since we caught up properly so I'm generally a pretty happy girl. And this isn't to say there aren't some really tough elements of my life because there is and my mental and physical health can be incredibly challenging. But it seems so silly to constantly forget to appreciate everything I have now because I'm constantly worrying and wondering what's next or what's already been. 



For a lot of people just getting through each day is something that is a big challenge for them and if they're able to do that then it means the day was a complete success. When you're living your life in this way [there are so many reasons why this might be] the last thing you're really thinking about is all the things that you're going to do next. It's so easy to think that we're tackling life at the same pace but we're not and for some of us, we might only a deem a day a success if we've ticked everything off of our to-do list. But to some, it might be as simple as being able to get out of bed.


If you had asked me even a year ago what I wanted in my life it would be very different to what I want now. Our goals and aims constantly change and evolve and that's not something to shy away from. It's completely normal because we constantly change and evolve as people all the time so why would the things that we strive for be any different? I always think it's so important to encourage people to alter things if they're not working for them either. It doesn't mean you're a failure or not worked hard enough sometimes things just don't work out that way. 


Like I said, this is a question that we constantly see or are asked it in our personal lives. And there is some sort of weird pressure to constantly have our next step figured out and sometimes we just don't know what we want or what's to come and that's totally fine. It doesn't mean your lazy or not working hard enough because you've not got everything else figured out that you want to come. It seems pretty sad that we never encourage to enjoy where they are right now let alone have any pride in celebrate getting to that place.


What are your thoughts on having it all figured out?

Rebecca WarrinerPersonal