The topic of loneliness isn't something I'm shy to discuss. If you're not all that familiar with me or my blog you might not know that I have a long distance relationship with my lovely musician boyfriend who spends around 9/10 months of the year on the road around the world. So over the past three years, loneliness has become a huge part of my life. And it's always talked about in such a negative way and it's taken me a long time to embrace it yet alone enjoy it and it's something I'm pretty excited to discuss in this post.
lonely isn't a dirty word
If you look up the diary definition of the word lonely, it's awful. So it's hardly a surprise why people feel such embarrassment and shame about feeling lonely. And the thing about loneliness is that it can take shape in so many ways and it doesn't always mean you're alone. You can be surrounded by hundreds of people and even your most loved ones and still feel incredibly lonely. Feeling this emotion is just part of life and it's something that we all probably go through at some point so there's no reason for so much stigma to be attached to the word. I know for myself I've always been so apprehensive about saying I feel lonely but it's just like any other emotion that we feel, good or bad.
BEING ALONE AND NOT FEELING LONELY
Often being alone and being lonely can be confused for the same thing. But the two are incredibly different. Because you can be completely alone and feel so intent and happy and never feel like you need to be around other people. And on the other side of the spectrum, you can be surrounded by people and feel incredibly lonely. Also, some people seek real joy from being by on their own and I think being content in your own company is one the best things to be.
WHY EMBRACE LONELINESS?
Whether or not loneliness is a bad thing it can still really suck and have a negative effect on your life. After dealing with it a lot over the past few years and going through different stages. It took me a long time to embrace the emotion. And actually, it was one reader in particular who left a comment and reminded me if I was lucky enough to have my time completely to myself then I should embrace it and make the most out of those extra hours. Becuase in the next few years my life will move out this season and those hours will be long gone so I'm totally making the most out of them. Whilst being apart from my boyfriend so much sucks and it's an incredibly hard to be in a long distance relationship it has its perks.
Having my time completely to myself to throw myself into whatever I want is so awesome and something I've come to love. And also having the time to grow as a person on my own without any big influences in my life has been a huge thing for me. Because even though relationships are awesome and incredible. Often they can take over your life and dictate every single thing that you do, which may work for some people but it's not me. It took me a long time to realise that any partnership that I'm in should enhance my life and not rule it. And let's not forget how much time goes into a relationship. I know when my boyfriend is home that my time always feels incredibly strained so something is always slipping. Whether it be not putting 100% into other aspects of work, pushing forward with personal projects, self-care or my own well-being in general something always falls behind.
So that's why I've chosen to embrace feeling lonely and why it's something that I can use to my advantage in my life in its current season. Being apart from your loved one whether it be for their career or for another reason is still tough.But if there is one thing that I do know it's that wishing away your time isn't a good habit to get into. And it's something I did a lot during the first few tours and it didn't make the situation any easier and took away from any personal joy I had. Enjoying and embracing the present is so important because time is precious and even when times are tough they do pass. So if loneliness is something that you're experiencing at the moment just remember there can be a little silver lining to it. And you're never alone and it's something that we all go through at some point in our way.