Why Being Too Busy Turned Me Into A Crappy Person
As of right now being busy is something that we herald as very admirable. I don't remember the last time I spoke to somebody and they didn't talk about how busy they are, which isn't always a bad thing. So many people don't share that they are busy to brag but it has become something that people generally boast about. Being so exhausted and stressed out that we can't see straight is something we now see as a good thing and almost a badge of honour. Because obviously if you're not busy it means you're lazy and not working as hard as hard as other people which isn't the case at all. Over the years, I've become busier and busier and it got to a point where I realised it was turning me into a really crappy person. And being that busy isn't all that amazing and definitely not something I saw as a good thing.
Being busy is something that can be good to a point. Because being busy means that my business is going well and I can afford to pay my bills. And it also means that I'm a little less likely to worry about everything and anything, I still do worry but it takes the edge off a little. However, once being busy meant I had no free time to shower, paint my nails or do anything I enjoyed outside of my job that's when it's not ok. Ultimately, we're all busy and there are things that we have to do but the amount of pressure we pile on ourselves to do a million other things is obscene. Self-care is something that has become a little bit of a scoff-worthy topic in the online world lately. And I understand why, when you're really busy with things that you have no choice about and somebody online is writing about how important it is to take a break. It's infuriating because so often people are run down because they have no choice. But where I've figured out my issue is that I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself to prove a point to the rest of the world. Something that a lot of us seem to do is work obsessively to try and proof our worth in our society. If you don't need to be busy then why make yourself be? Making time so you can have a shower, eat and do a few other things is totally ok. There is so much more to life than being busy and not having time to do anything that you enjoy isn't that fun.
to my boyfriend
Fortunately, my boyfriend has always understood that I've got a certain amount of work I have to do which comes first without question. Just like his job comes first because we both have to pay the bills and make sure we can afford the financial responsibilities we have together. But when I'd got so much on my plate for months when my boyfriend was home we weren't really spending quality time together because I was either working or worrying about work. He'd come home and I'd be either sat with my head in my laptop, barely looking up or every time we did go out together we'd have to shoot something for hours before we could enjoy what we were doing. Relationships don't just survive on two people being there, they take a lot of work on both sides and not taking the time to spend quality time with my partner was taking its toll. Now, every evening or morning depending what shifts he is working we try and spend some quality time together whether that be walking the dog or watching something on Netflix. And my laptop and phone are not allowed to be there and it's made such a big difference to not only our relationship but how I feel about work too.
to my friends
Something that I've spoken about time again on this blog is that when you get into your twenties and you're no longer in school that maintaining friendships is really hard. It's so easy to let them slip, especially when you have a partner because obviously, you want to spend your free time with that person. But that doesn't mean your friendships aren't important anymore and you can ditch them. I've never been the type of person who needs to see their friends all the time to have a good relationship but something that is vital is communication. One of my closest friends told me the other day that she'd just accepted that I've become awful at texting her back and I'm not ok with that, I am not so busy that I can't spend a few minutes writing somebody a text message. It's something that is so easy to do, we see the messages and mean to text back but somehow it never happens. And you don't have to be there in person to be a good friend but taking the time to show your support and love to them through something as simple as a text message is really important.
and to my job
It's funny when the thing that is making you so busy then becomes something that you're not doing to your full potential because you're so busy. Working for myself is something that is a complete honour, I say it everytime I speak about being self-employed because I'm all too aware of how fortunate I am. But being my own boss means that you can't work the same way as the vast majority of other people do. When you're in charge of your productivity and you're your own motivation then you need to be on your A game. When you're burnt out because your to-do list is terrifyingly long and stressed out every time you sit down to work nothing ever goes that well. And taking the time to try and take some of that pressure off isn't always feasible. You still have to work to pay the bills but when you've got too many things on your plate that isn't good either. Because let's be real when you're self-employed the fear of not having work come in is serious and terrifying. So it's all too easy to fall into the habit of taking on everything, even when you know deep down you can't possibly do it all you try your best. And it without fail has a knock-on effect on how good we are at what we're doing. I hate being the person who isn't on top of her inbox or takes a whilst to respond to things and then ends up working late which has a serious knock-on effect on my well-being. It's such a horrible vicious cycle that is so easy to fall into.
how I'm making a change
Like I said, I don't hate being busy and I'm all too aware that we all have to be busy to some point. But when I've not taken a shower in 4 days because my to-do list needs ticking off that's a little problematic. So here are a few ways I'm trying to make a positive change and handle being busy a little better and not let it turn me into such a crappy person;
- Stop telling everyone I'm busy, it's a really boring topic of conversation.
- Create a little bit more of a balance between work and life and create more of a boundary between the things at home. Like no phones at meal times and when I'm with somebody focus on them.
- Be realistic with my work load and remember it is ok to say no to things.
- Remind myself every day that it is not possible to do everything at once and life can't always be about work.
What are your thoughts on being busy?