Finding Your Own Way, When You Feel Totally Lost
When I wrote my post last week on the things that I was glad that I learned before turning 25 the biggest lesson was that we're all finding our own way in life. I think many of us who are in our twenties can all relate to the quarter life crisis that we all seem to go through at some point. From such a young age, we're all asked what we want to do in life and have our entire life plan figured out and that's just not realistic. We're constantly changing and what I wanted to do when I was 5 years old (vet) is certainly not what I want to be doing now and sometimes being a little bit lost is a good thing.
There is something utterly terrifying about being in your twenties and not having everything figured out when it feels like everybody else has. It's easy to log onto social media and scroll through your feed and think 'how do they have everything figured out and I don't'? The problem with social media is that it's not realistic to real life. I know myself that I only share a very edited version of my life through Instagram and whilst there isn't anything wrong with that it's always wise to bear this in mind when browsing other people's highlight roll. When my parents were my age they were married, with a house and two children and those are the age-old expectations that we expect of ourselves now. The world is different now, it's the norm to go to university and not straight into work from leaving school.
I'm sure many of us started university with a career goal in mind at the end of it, I certainly did. I must have changed my mind about 10 times what I wanted to do and even when I had graduated I was still none the wiser and it terrified me. You think you know what you're going to want to do after university and I didn't, I got a job that wasn't really in my field just because I had to work. A year on I became self-employed and although I absolutely love what I do there are still times where I feel completely lost. We've all probably felt this way and felt bad for not knowing where we're headed in life when actually feeling lost can be a positive thing.
Self-exploration is so important. It can take years to get to a place where you're happy with who you are and what you're doing and it's not something that we should feel bad for. There is no point trying to go down someone else's path because we all want different things. When you're feeling totally lost it really opens your eyes to what you really want out of life. For example, I want to be married for at least 3 years before I even think about children whereas my best friend wants to have children before she gets married. Neither way is right or wrong it's our own choice of how we want to live which shouldn't be dictated by anybody else.
So this is my little ode to anybody else out there who feels lost and totally confused that they've not got to the point that they thought they would be yet. It's ok and it can actually be kind of great.
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