Why I've Given Up Trying To Find A Work Life Balance

Something that has constantly been in the back of my mind for the past few years is trying to find a balance between work and life. It's a topic that is written about time and time again in the blogging world and I've written about it myself when I thought I'd either cracked finding a balance or was just desperately trying to seek it. However, this year has seen something completely different for me and I've kind of just given up trying to find any sort of balance. Because quite frankly it's pretty tiring to constantly try and work out some sort of balance every week. So let's delve into the topic of the elusive work life balance...



I'm a planner, I've always have been and I probably always will be and I absolutely love it. For so long I had a 5-year plan and when things weren't going the way that I so desperately wanted them to I was always so devastated and it always made me feel like I was a failure. And if you're someone who likes to plan and stick to routine and structure you will know that horrible feeling that creeps in when life throws a spanner in the works which it so often likes to do. As much as I want to try and plan for every instance it's just not possible and sometimes we have to let life go down the route that it wants to. And more often than not it works out of the best but it never feels like that at the time. 


I'm an absolute sucker for routine, it's what I thrive from. I don't function that well when everything is up in the air, I worry a lot more and my mental health takes a serious hit. But finding a good routine is something I've found really difficult, especially as I get older and naturally have more responsibilities. Life is so busy and there is always something to do that can throw your routine entirely so it's near on impossible to stick to it constantly. I think this is why I always crave those simple routines that I have in my life, like having my breakfast and first coffee on the sofa at 6am or walking the dog at a certain time. 


Whenever I used to think about the standard balance between work and life it meant finishing work at 5 and having the evening to myself to either do something I enjoyed or general life stuff. And then I realised that's a really outdated way to think because I don't have a traditional job so why would I have those traditional 9-5 hours? It doesn't make any sense and I think anybody who works for themselves will know you constantly try to put yourself in the roles that you've either worked before or feel like you should be working to be taken seriously. For some people, balance might look like finishing work in the evening and then doing nothing but for some, it might just mean having an hour a day to do whatever they please.



I used to think I was finding it difficult to strike a balance between work and life because I was self-employed and no day is ever the same when you're your own boss. But even with friends who work in more traditional job settings they never have the same week either. And this is probably why so many of us find it so hard to find some sort of balance between everything is because life is complex and busy and there is just no way we can plan for everything. Trying to fit everything into one day is near on impossible and then with the amount of pressure that we then put on ourselves to make it look like we've got everything figured out it makes it even harder.


As a chronic worrier and over-thinker, something I'm not great at is embracing life for what is in that moment. And my mind is way too far in the future or too far in the past worrying about something that's already happened. Living in the moment is something I find hard but sometimes it's exactly what needs to happen. Dealing with situations that are in the here and now is what needs to be focused on rather than constantly trying to either fix something that's already happened or something that my over active imagination leads me to believe might happen. 


The moment I stopped desperately trying to seek a balance that I was more than likely never going to get I felt so much better. It was like this invisible pressure had been lifted off me and for the first time in years, I let life run its natural course [only slightly though, I like control far too much to be that care free]. And it's not the worst thing in the world not to have this elusive balance and just dealing with things as they come up and making it work. Everyone's life is different and some people might have a routine completely down and their life might allow for that but mine just doesn't right now and that's ok. 


What are your thoughts on trying to find a balance between work and life?